Breaking the Cycle of Overthinking: How Cognitive Behavioural Therapy Can Help
Have you ever caught yourself replaying the same situation over and over, wishing you’d said something different or done something better? Maybe you find yourself stuck in “what ifs” or trying to predict every possible outcome. If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Overthinking—also called rumination—is something many teens and young adults experience, especially when stress or anxiety starts to take over.
In my counselling work with young people here in British Columbia, I often hear how exhausting it feels to be trapped in a loop of thoughts that never seem to stop. The good news? These patterns can change. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) offers practical tools to help you understand what’s happening in your mind and take small, steady steps toward feeling calmer and more in control.
What Exactly Is Overthinking?
Overthinking happens when your mind keeps circling the same worries, regrets, or imagined scenarios without finding any real solutions. You might notice that:
Your thoughts race at night when you’re trying to sleep.
You replay conversations, wondering if you said the “wrong” thing.
You think about worst-case scenarios, even when things are going fine.
You spend so much time analysing decisions that it’s hard to take action.
Rumination is when we get stuck reflecting on the past in a way that fuels guilt, shame, or anxiety. Instead of helping us problem-solve, overthinking keeps our brains on high alert, leaving us mentally drained and emotionally tense.
Understanding this cycle is the first step to breaking it. That’s where CBT comes in.
How CBT Helps You Understand Your Thoughts, Feelings, and Behaviours
CBT is one of the most researched and effective therapies for anxiety, stress, and overthinking. It’s based on a simple but powerful idea: our thoughts, feelings, and behaviours are connected.
When we change one part of that triangle, the others begin to shift too. Here’s how it works:
Thoughts – What goes through your mind in a situation. (“I messed that up; everyone must think I’m weird.”)
Feelings – The emotions that follow those thoughts. (Embarrassment, anxiety, self-doubt.)
Behaviours – What you do next. (Avoiding people, staying silent, or replaying the moment for hours.)
In CBT, we learn to notice these patterns, challenge unhelpful thoughts, and experiment with new responses. Instead of trying to stop thinking altogether, which isn’t possible, we focus on thinking differently.
For anyone who wants to explore the foundations of CBT further, the Beck Institute’s overview of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy provides a clear explanation of its evidence-based principles and approach.
For example, rather than assuming the worst (“I ruined everything”), CBT helps you consider more balanced perspectives (“It’s normal to feel awkward sometimes; people probably didn’t notice”). Over time, these small mental shifts reduce anxiety and help your brain build more helpful habits.
Try This: A Quick Thought Journal Exercise
When you catch yourself overthinking, it can help to get your thoughts out of your head and onto paper. Here’s a simple CBT-inspired journaling prompt to try this week.
Step 1: Describe the situation.
What happened or what’s worrying you right now?
Step 2: Write down your thoughts.
What’s running through your mind? Try not to edit—just notice.
Step 3: Identify how you feel.
Name the emotions and rate their intensity (for example, anxiety: 8/10).
Step 4: Challenge the thought.
Ask yourself:
What’s the evidence for and against this thought?
What might I say to a friend in this situation?
Is there another way to look at this?
Step 5: Replace it with a balanced thought.
Create a statement that feels more realistic and supportive.
Example:
Thought: “Everyone thinks I’m weird.”
Balanced Thought: “I might have felt nervous, but that doesn’t mean others saw me negatively. People are often focused on themselves.”
By practising this process regularly, you train your brain to pause before spiralling. The more you do it, the easier it becomes to step out of overthinking and back into the present moment.
Why Overthinking Feels So Hard to Break
Overthinking can feel like control, but it’s actually the brain’s way of managing anxiety. When you worry, your mind thinks it’s preparing for danger. But instead of helping, it keeps you stuck in stress mode.
Sometimes, factors like perfectionism, fear of failure, or past experiences make it harder to let go of these patterns. It’s not about willpower or “just thinking positive.” It’s about learning new ways to respond when your mind gets loud.
In CBT, we focus on skills, not just insight. That might include:
Learning grounding or relaxation techniques for when your thoughts race.
Setting boundaries with worry time (for example, scheduling 10 minutes to think things through, then moving on).
Practising self-compassion when your brain starts to spiral.
Remember: overthinking isn’t a personality trait—it’s a habit that can change with awareness and support.
When to Reach Out for Support
If you’ve tried managing overthinking on your own and still feel stuck, that’s a sign it might be time to reach out for help. Working with a therapist trained in CBT can give you the tools and guidance to understand your thought patterns and build confidence in managing them.
Here in British Columbia, there are many supports for young people, including Foundry BC, local counselling services, and mental health programs for teens and young adults. You don’t have to handle it alone.
Therapy doesn’t mean something is “wrong” with you. It’s a space to learn more about yourself, practice coping skills, and build a life that feels calmer and more balanced.
Finding Hope and Taking the Next Step
Breaking the cycle of overthinking takes time, but it’s absolutely possible. Every time you notice a thought and choose a kinder or more balanced one, you’re building new mental pathways. With practice, those moments of calm become more frequent, and anxiety starts to loosen its grip.
If you or your teen are struggling with overthinking or anxiety, I’m here to support you. You don’t have to figure it out on your own. Reach out to book a consultation or visit my counselling services page to learn more about cognitive behavioural therapy and how we can work together to help you feel more calm, confident, and connected.
This content is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health treatment. If you're struggling with emotional overwhelm or mental health issues, please consult with a qualified mental health professional.
