Feeling Lost About the Future: How to Find Direction When You’re Unsure Where to Go Next
If you’re reading this, there’s a good chance you’ve had that quiet, nagging thought in the back of your mind: What am I supposed to be doing with my life? Maybe it hits late at night when everyone else seems asleep but your brain is wide awake. Maybe it shows up when you scroll social media and see people your age announcing new jobs, degrees, or big life plans. Or maybe it’s just a constant background pressure that you “should” have things figured out by now.
If that’s you, I want you to know something important right away: you’re not broken, behind, or failing. Feeling uncertain about the future is incredibly common for teens and young adults, especially right now. And it makes sense.
Why Do So Many Young People Feel Stuck Right Now?
Many teens and young adults I work with describe feeling stuck, frozen, or panicked about making the “wrong” choice. There’s often this unspoken belief that whatever decision you make next will define the rest of your life. Pick the wrong program, the wrong job, the wrong path, and you’ll mess everything up.
That’s a lot of pressure for anyone to carry.
Here in British Columbia, young people are navigating rising costs of living, academic pressure, job uncertainty, and constant comparison online. On top of that, you’re often getting messages from well-meaning adults that sound like:
“These are the years that matter most.”
“You need a solid plan.”
“Don’t waste time.”
When you hear those messages enough, it’s easy to start believing that uncertainty means you’re doing something wrong. In reality, uncertainty is often a sign that you care deeply about your future and want to make thoughtful choices.
How Do Overthinking and Perfectionism Make Decision-Making Harder?
If you tend to overthink, you might notice that instead of helping you feel more prepared, thinking harder actually makes you feel more stuck. This is where overthinking and perfectionism often team up.
Overthinking sounds like:
Running the same “what if” scenarios over and over
Analysing every possible outcome
Waiting to feel 100 percent certain before acting
Perfectionism adds another layer:
Believing there is one “right” choice
Feeling like mistakes are unacceptable
Tying your worth to your productivity or success
Together, these patterns can lead to decision paralysis. You might avoid making any choice at all because doing nothing feels safer than choosing wrong. In the short term, avoidance can lower anxiety. In the long term, it often makes anxiety louder.
My belief is that this isn’t a motivation problem. It’s an anxiety response. Your brain is trying to protect you from regret, failure, or disappointment, even though it ends up keeping you stuck.
What’s One CBT Tool That Can Help When You’re Feeling Stuck?
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, or CBT, focuses on the connection between your thoughts, feelings, and actions. Try this simple CBT-based tool - here’s how it works.
Instead of asking, What is the perfect choice? try shifting the question to, What is a good enough next step?
You can walk yourself through these steps:
Name the fear. What are you worried will happen if you choose wrong?
Reality-check it. Ask yourself how likely that outcome really is, and whether you could cope if it happened.
Limit your options. Too many choices increase anxiety. Narrow it down to two or three realistic options.
Choose a short-term step. Focus on what moves you forward in the next few months, not the next ten years.
For example, instead of deciding on a lifelong career, you might decide to:
Try one semester of a program
Take a part-time job in an area you’re curious about
Volunteer or shadow someone in a field you’re considering
CBT reminds us that clarity often comes after action, not before. You don’t need total certainty to move forward. You just need a starting point.
What If Direction Isn’t Something You Find, But Something That Grows?
One of the most reassuring things I share with clients is this: direction is not a fixed destination. It’s something that evolves as you gain experience, learn about yourself, and try things out.
Very few people follow a straight, perfectly planned path. Most people zigzag. They change their minds. They outgrow goals that once felt right. And that’s not a failure, it’s growth.
When you’re young, your job isn’t to have everything figured out. It’s to:
Learn what matters to you
Notice what drains you and what energizes you
Build skills that transfer across different paths
Uncertainty doesn’t mean you’re lost forever. It means you’re in a transition. Transitions are uncomfortable, but they’re also where a lot of self-discovery happens.
You Don’t Have to Figure This Out Alone
If anxiety about the future is keeping you up at night, affecting your mood, or stopping you from taking steps forward, support can make a real difference. Therapy isn’t about someone telling you what to do with your life. It’s about having a calm, supportive space to untangle the noise, understand your patterns, and build confidence in your own decision-making.
If you’re a teen or young adult in British Columbia and this post resonates, you don’t have to carry this alone. You’re allowed to ask for help while you figure things out.
If you’d like to explore counselling or have questions about whether it might be a good fit, you’re welcome to reach out or book a consultation. We can take things one step at a time, together.
This content is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health treatment. If you're struggling with mental health issues, please consult with a qualified mental health professional.
